Much Advice for James Potter about Lily Evans
by vodkaholic
Summary: When Lily finally agrees to go out with James, he is ecstatic! Little does he know that pretty soon, everyone will be out to give him advice about dating Lily Evans!
1. She said YES!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any affiliation for such, rights belong to J

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter or any affiliation for such, rights belong to J.K. Rowling

**Much Advice for James Potter about Lily Evans**

**Prologue**: _She Said Yes!_

_--_

His fiery, Lily-goddess was sitting serenely on the edge of the lake, her feet dawdling in the water. He took a deep breath before beginning his walk towards her.

"Lily?" James called out softly, slowing to stand awkwardly behind her with his hands in pockets.

Lily smiled lightly, tilting her head back so that she could see him. Upside down, of course. She giggled girlishly, finding it rather amusing. "Yes, James?"

A boyish grin. He puffed up his chest a bit, his heart fluttering in his chest. She called me James, again. Fidgeting, he looked down at her nervously. "I-uh.. I was wondering if..." he looked around him cautiously, hoping no one was around to see him get turned down for the hundredth time before continuing, "Uh-I was wondering if you'd like to-uh.. ToGoToHogsmeadeWithMeThisWeekend?" James finished very hurriedly, his proposal probably mostly incomprehensible.

"Why James… If I didn't know any better, I'd say I make you nervous!" Lily teased, sitting upright and turning to look up at him properly. She held out a hand to him, indicating she needed help up. James blushed slightly, pulling a hand out of his pocket to grasp hers in his and tugged, pulling her up.

She stood, dusting her skirt off. "Thanks," she said in a breathless voice. Bright, jade hues looked up into his swirls of honey brown. Another soft smile before she stood on tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "I would love to." Falling back onto her heels, she bent down to grab her shoes and her bag. After slinging it over her shoulder, she began making her way to the castle, casting one last look over her shoulder to him. She was smiling.

James heart had stopped beating when she whispered those fateful words to him. He found himself tongue-tied and stuck with a goofy grin plastered across his face. Following her with his eyes, he waved when she turned to look at him one more time.

When Lily was out of earshot, James hooted and pumped a fist into the air. "She said yes!" he breathed out finally.

Immediately upon regaining his senses, he made a dash for his dorm room to fetch his broom, still repeating in his head, _She said yes, she said yes, she said _**yes**!

Little did he know how much 'help' was going to come along with her acceptance.

**A/N**: _This was incredibly awkward for me to write, I'm not very happy with it at all. I will probably re-write this all together when I'm feeling more creative. I just wanted to have a little intro. Hope everyone likes it!_


	2. from Diana Macmillan

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any affiliation for such, rights belong to J

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter or any affiliation for such, rights belong to J.K. Rowling

**Much Advice for James Potter about Lily Evans**:

_From Diana Macmillan_

--

Something, or someone, had come flying down on him in a whirl of long, platinum blonde hair accompanied by a fury of slapping hands all the while screeching.

"JAMES POTTER, DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

Too confused to react quickly and efficiently, as well as in a manly manner, James slightly cowered, covering his face with his arms in weak defense.

"What in the bloody hell is going on?!" he called out incredulously to whomever's wrath was inflicting upon him.

Diana Macmillan composed herself and stood facing James with her hands on her hips, casting a glare that was fit to kill if it were possible.

"James, don't you dare," she warned, repeating herself.

James screwed his face up in confusion. What in the name of Merlin was she talking about?

"Don't I dare what?"

"Why, break Lily's heart!" Diana exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing. That was not James plan, however.

"W-Why would I even _**dream**_ of doing that?!" he spluttered, flapping his arms around as he tried emphasize his point, "After five bloody years, Lily Evans has finally agreed to go out with me—_yes_, **me**—So pray tell, why would I throw that down the drain?"

"That's the word around the school, you know," Diana began in a nonchalant voice, "There's a rumor going around that you just want to conquer the Almighty Evans, like the rest of the school's female population."

She paused, studying him for a moment, then continued before he could speak, "Look James, just because she finally agreed to go to Hogsmeade with you doesn't mean anything. I don't want to see Lily getting hurt."

James let out an exasperated sigh, "I have not dated the whole female population, most of them are crazy, anyway, and I have no intention of hurting Lily Evans!"

"Plus, I'm one of her best friends and if you hurt her, don't think for a moment that I won't hesitate to curse you," Diana added sweetly, as if she hadn't even heard him, flashing a bright smile, "Plus, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And if you think that _I'm_ dangerous, Lily Evans is a hundred times worse."

Well, that was certainly good advice. _Lily Evans—Demon Witch; Beware of Hexes and a Cursed Life if Pissed Off or Broken Up With. _At least he knew even more so now not to get on her bad side, a side that he had been on for far too long and known only all too well.

**A/N:** _This was a random idea I got when I was sitting in Russian today and I thought that I'd type it up. I don't have anyone to review my work for me, so this may not be the completed version of this chapter and I hope to write others. Please read & review and leave constructive criticism, this is the first time I've written in a LONG time, and definitely the first Harry Potter fancfiction ever._


	3. from Sirius Black

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any affiliation for such, rights belong to J

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter or any affiliation for such, rights belong to J.K. Rowling

**Much Advice for James Potter about Lily Evans**:

_From Sirius Black_

--

"I'll have you know, mate, the best thing for you to do is just spike her butter beer and she will be yours for the taking," Sirius suggested, leaning haphazardly against the door frame to the bathroom.

James choked on his toothpaste, spluttering and spraying all over the vicinity of the bathroom. He turned, staring stupidly at Sirius. "Chum again?"

Sirius just laughed, responding teasingly, "You look like a rabid dog, Jamesies! Very fetching. Those birds will be flocking all over you!"

James wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and gave Sirius a stern look.

"Honestly, are you serious?" he groaned, realizing too late the unintended pun.

"Of course I'm Sirius! You should my name by now, mate!" Sirius joked.

Shaking his head, he turned his back to Sirius to finish brushing his teeth.

"Come on James, she's just a bird, right?" Sirius asked, somewhat skeptically, as he moved over and leaned against the counter look more closely at James.

James groaned again before spitting into the sink and rinsing his toothbrush off.

"No, Sirius, she isn't just a bird. She isn't just any bird at all! She is Lily bloody Evans!" James exclaimed.

"Even more of a reason to just get it over with on the first date! Then the whole school will know—" Sirius began before James cut him off.

"No. It's not going to be like that. I'm going to marry Lily. I'll be damned if I think I'm going to ruin my chances with her over something so petty," James finished, running a hand through his hair as he stalked out of the bathroom.

"You are serious about her, aren't you mate?" Sirius asked, trailing after James with a concerned look.

"Of course! Why else would I have spent five years chasing after her?" he responded, thinking it was rather obvious.

"Well Jamie… Here's some advice: Just don't screw up!" Sirius advised, grinning cheekily, "I'd hate see how bad she would hex you if you mess up, given the hexes she has already thrown at you just for being an arrogant prat."

James responded dryly, "Thanks, Sirius. Way to stay positive. That makes me feel much better."

"Anytime, I'm here for you, Jamie!" he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around James in an embrace.

Oh, lovely. Wonderful advice. _Lily Evans—Psychotic Girlfriend, Beware of Flying Hexes at Random. _Hopefully that won't be the case. She has yet to hex him this year! Perhaps its luck on his side for once!

**A/N:** _I feel like I rushed this and that it sounds too forced, I'm not particularly satisfied with it. I might go back and tweak it a bit later. Any advice on what would make it better? Aside from length ;P! I tried to make it longer, I just.. yeah. Easier said than done. Enjoy!_


	4. from Mummy Dearest

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter or any affiliation for such, rights belong to J.K. Rowling

**Much Advice for James Potter about Lily Evans**:

_Letter from Mum_

--

James was sitting at the table, eating breakfast, when his beautiful, snowy owl swooped in.

"Hello, Haggis!" James smiled, petting Haggis for a moment before untying the letter. Haggis dipped his beak in his cup, nipped some bacon and then flew off.

"Well good-bye to you, too!" he huffed grumpily after Haggis' retreating form. Looking down again, he turned the letter over in his hand. _From mum_, he mused, opening it.

_James,_

_What's this I hear about you and a girl named Lily Evans? Isn't she that girl you always come home ranting and raving about? Saying things like "Mum, she looked at me today!" or "Mum, she has the prettiest emerald eyes and shiniest red hair ever!"? I heard she's top of her class and a prefect! _

_I do hope you have finally stopped being so juvenile around her! The things you've told me about, the ones you've done to get her attention aren't very suave ways of getting a girl to like you! You need to be caring and sweet.—_

James groaned, turning to Remus, "Moony!" he whined, "Mum is trying to give me dating advice!"

He made a face. Remus laughed, watching Sirius look over James' shoulder as he came up from behind. He only got a brief glance before James folded it crisply, not bothering to finish it at the moment.

Suddenly feeling suspicious, James turned to look at Sirius.

"Hey now, you wouldn't happen to know how mum came across such knowledge of me and Lily, now would you?" he accused.

Sirius only smiled mischievously, his eyes twinkling. "Now, now… You don't _really_ think I would ever tell your mum such blasphemous things, do you? I'm your best mate! That's against our code of honor!"

Both James and Remus snorted as Sirius feigned innocence as he sat next to James.

"I wouldn't put it past you, you mischievous prat," James responded as he unfolded his letter again.

—_They like flowers and love notes as well as chocolate!_

_Oh Jamie! You will have to bring her home for the holidays! I'm sure she will want to spend time with her family of course… Oh we will find a way to have her over, perhaps for the New Year's Ball! I'll be sure to send her an invitation.._

_Love,_

_Mum_

Groaning, James folded the letter, shoving in his robes. "She makes it sound like we're getting bloody engaged!"

Sirius sniggered, patting him on the back, "Just be happy your mum didn't include the sex talk! Now _that_ would be awfully embarrassing!"

James choked on his juice, flushing a flashy red shade. Remus rolled his eyes, dropping the Daily Prophet so that he could hit James' back.

"Alright there, mate?" Sirius inquired, still grinning like a mad fool.

Well, on the plus side… Now he had an excuse to see Lily over the holidays. He might just have to warn her about his mum, though.

--

**A/N**: _I'm not exactly sure if I like the letter, not entirely sure if I have even remotely captured the essence of a mother… but I tried if that counts? Hope you like it!_


	5. from Slughorn

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter or any affiliation for such, rights belong to J.K. Rowling

**Much Advice for James Potter about Lily Evans**:

_From Professor Slughorn_

--

"James, you coming?" the Marauders called out to him.

Potions class just ended, but James was still putting away his things.

"Mr. Potter, may I have a word with you?" Professor Slughorn asked.

"Of course, Professor," he said, finishing packing his schoolbag and cleaning his workstation.

"Don't worry about me, I'll catch up!" he called out to the awaiting Marauders, waving them off.

The other three just shrugged, sauntering off—probably to cause mischief.

Lily caught his eye before she walked out, providing him with a small smile and a waggle of her fingers before being dragged off by her friends.

He slung his schoolbag over his shoulder and approached Professor Slughorn's desk.

"You wanted a word with me, sir?" James asked.

Slughorn was standing behind his desk, fiddling in the cabinets behind it. At James' voice, he turned around to face him, hands clasping behind his back.

"Yes, yes… I'm having a Slug club meeting this weekend and I was hoping you would accompany Miss Evans. I'm sure she won't object. I would love to have the Head Boy and Girl there together, would look quite good," Slughorn rumbled.

James blinked, staring at Slughorn in a queer manner. He opened his mouth to speak, but Slughorn continued.

"You know, she's a very special girl. She's going to do something great in this world… She's absolutely excellent at Potions. The two of you look good together," Slughorn stated, pulling out his chair so he could sit comfortably at his desk.

Settling in, he drummed his fingers along the desktop.

James opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, then opened it again just to close it. He felt like a fish out of water.

"Well, that's settled then, Mr. Potter. You may go," his eyes twinkled as he dismissed James.

"But-but…" James just shook his head unbelievably, turning to stalk out. _I didn't even get a word in!_

"Oh, and Mr. Potter," Slughorn called after his retreating form. James turned to look back. "Take care of Lily. She's a special girl," Slughorn finished.

James nodded, a slight smile playing his features, "I know sir, thank you."

When he was outside the classroom and down the hall, he stopped.

"Did that really just happen?" he asked himself, laughing before continuing on.

--

**A/N**: _Thanks for the advice i.am.a.griffin.! I really liked it, so here goes! Hope you enjoy!_


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